


千羽鶴 Senbazuru

by zhan9jun (seventheavenly)



Category: NINE PERCENT (Band), 偶像练习生 | Idol Producer (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Fantasy, Deities, Historical Fantasy, M/M, Xianxia, 仙侠, 长得俊
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-09-24
Updated: 2018-09-28
Packaged: 2019-07-16 11:33:40
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 5,587
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16085291
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/seventheavenly/pseuds/zhan9jun
Summary: Rain Deity Yanjun folds paper cranes, hoping it would grant his wish when he finishes a thousand of them.His wish of a certain Spring Deity’s memories to be restored.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This was supposed to be a one-shot for Zhangjing’s birthday, but it evolved into having chapters and I decided to at least post the first part up for Mid-Autumn Festival instead, since I’m finally writing the xianxia AU I love so much!
> 
> Before you begin reading, I’d just like to say that I usually prefer not to include Chinese words in my English fics if I can help it — but I really couldn’t find another way to convey what I want to without doing so here. 
> 
> Most of you probably already know that ge ge means older brother. That’s it, that’s the only Chinese word I’ll include here so please don’t hate me, I’m using it in its most literal context too! (Please don’t tell me that no one uses gege in real life because there are many people around me who do, I even used it all the time as a child — and still have people calling me jiejie at work on a daily basis nowadays!)
> 
> Now that I’ve gotten that out of the way — enjoy! c:

 

A pair of butterflies chase each other among blooming buds, their tiny wings reflecting a myriad of brilliant colours in the garden of Yanjun’s residence.

 

Or rather, his and Zhangjing’s.

 

The flourishing garden’s other owner is currently absent in more ways than one, leaving Yanjun alone with his thoughts. Even though it is almost noon, the sun’s rays are soft and fill him with nostalgia and a tinge of regret. Memories of a distant past seep slowly into his mind: an image of them both standing in the garden, amidst the flowers that bloomed at Zhangjing’s every will and wish.

 

Yanjun remembers their intertwined fingers, remembers the blush on the Zhangjing’s cheeks as he giggled after their first kiss in the garden. It marked the start of their blissful days together as lovers: the handsome yet cold Rain Deity and the ever-bright Spring Deity.

 

Unfortunately, those days had come to an abrupt and unusual standstill a little over a year ago. Yanjun frowns at the thought and the constant tinge of bitterness in his chest blooms into an ache. However, before he begins lamenting the cruelty of fate again, Yanjun’s stream of thoughts are disrupted by a familiar voice.

 

“Yanjun- _gege_ , Yanjun- _gege_! I’m back!”

 

He does not need to look to know who it is. After all, it is impossible for him to not recognize his lover’s voice.

 

Still, he turns to look at Zhangjing, who is waving at him enthusiastically. At the sight of the Spring Deity’s usual bright smile,  Yanjun’s spirits are instantly lifted. Trailing behind him is Linong, who shakes his head hopelessly as Zhangjing sprints towards the Rain Deity, the sleeves of his soft blue robes fluttering with each excited step.

 

As Zhangjing nears him, Yanjun feels a familiar feeling bubbling up inside him: immense joy mixed with unmeasurable regret — threads of gratitude woven with those of anguish, that bind tighter around him with each passing day.

 

The Spring Deity looks as he has been since the day they met. Being deities, they retained their youthful appearances despite having lived through centuries. Among their closer circle of affiliated deities, Zhangjing and Yanjun were the oldest. However, Zhangjing would often withhold his actual age when meeting someone new, causing many to think that Yanjun is the older one.

 

It is ironic that Zhangjing’s white lie would one day come to be manifest itself in an unfortunate way, Yanjun thinks. That the brilliant Spring Deity that governed for centuries, now has no memories of ever growing up.

 

That he only knows himself as a child who had yet to even control his own celestial powers, despite looking nothing like one.

 

Before Yanjun drowns in another bout of sorrowful sentiments, Zhangjing arrives before him, giving no warning before he leaps at the Rain Deity to wrap him in a tight hug — almost knocking him backwards. As his name is constantly repeated by the one voice he cherishes most in the entire universe, Yanjun’s ache ebbs away and is replaced by an overwhelming delight as he gazes at the person in his arms.

 

“Zhangjing,” he leans to press a kiss on top of the other’s head, “welcome back. Where did you go?”

 

“Nongnong- _gege_ took me to the flower fields in the North, they’re beautiful! You should come with us one day!”

 

“I’d like that,” Yanjun says, meaning it entirely. “And what did I say about calling Nongnong  _gege_? Call him Uncle Nongnong.”

 

The person in his arms bursts into a fit of giggles and tries to wriggle out of his embrace. “Nongnong- _ge_ \- I mean, Uncle Nongnong said it’s fine to call him _gege_ since he’s younger than you are.”

 

“Did he now?” Yanjun finds himself unable to sound the slightest bit angry, not when he is cradling such a precious bundle of laughing joy.

 

“I did,” Linong steps into the room. “But I also said to not tell Yanjun about it, didn’t I?” Yanjun looks up at Linong and the Summer Deity waves back at him before they both nod in a silent exchange. Linong then averts his gaze to look accusingly at Zhangjing while shaking his head. “You didn’t keep our promise, Zhangjing. How can a deity break his promise so easily?”

 

At the Summer Diety’s stern words, Zhangjing stops trying to escape from Yanjun and hugs him tighter instead. “Save me, Yanjun- _gege_ ,” he whispers to Yanjun, albeit too loudly, causing Linong’s lips to lift into a hopeless smile. He watches as Yanjun softly berates Zhangjing for not keeping promises, watches as Zhangjing’s expressions switch from one to another in hopes of getting Yanjun’s lecture to stop.

 

Even though he is standing far from the Rain Deity and Spring Deity, Linong can’t help but feel enveloped in the warmth that surrounded the other two. However, he also feels a tinge of pity when he catches sight of paper cranes on Yanjun’s table — an instant reminder Zhangjing’s current unfortunate state.

 

For a short moment, Linong allows himself to wonder about how Yanjun feels. To constantly look at Zhangjing — who has not physically changed in the least — yet has no recollection of them as lovers, or of the days they had spent before and after. Zhangjing, who now only holds memories and the notion that he is a child deity with no greater role.

 

It is the truth they had come to know since that fateful day almost a year ago, but one they still had trouble embracing entirely.

 

Especially Yanjun.

 

When Linong catches sight of Zhangjing pouting at Yanjun, he feels too much like an intruder and decides to excuse himself. “I shall take my leave,” the Summer Deity announces. “See you both. Let me know if you need me to drop by,” he offers to Yanjun before waving goodbye and disappearing with a swish of robes and petals.

 

“See you, Uncle Nongnong!” Zhangjing bids and waves, not really understanding the deeper meaning behind the other’s offer. Paying it no heed, he immediately turns back to beam at Yanjun. The Rain Deity returns the smile instantly as well, pulling the other into another hug. The fresh scent of flowers is present upon Zhangjing, and mixed in it is a whiff of rain.

 

Yanjun smiles at the thought of his scent mingled with the other’s, despite everything that has happened.

 

When he is almost satisfied with the embrace — because he will never be entirely contented being apart from Zhangjing — Yanjun takes a deep breath, trying to engrave the feeling of the Spring Deity’s soft skin, his scent and warmth in his memory forever. Releasing the other, Yanjun steps back and takes a long look at the person before him, quickly noticing the exhaustion in Zhangjing’s eyes despite the Spring Deity’s cheerful pretense.

 

“Are you tired?” Yanjun asks. His slender fingers reach to brush Zhangjing’s fringe aside, so that he can press another kiss upon the other - this time on the forehead. Then lower, on the tip of the other’s nose, but he manages to catch himself in time before kissing the Spring Deity’s lips.

 

“Not at all!” Zhangjing announces with much childish zeal, only to yawn a moment later. “Well, maybe a little bit.”

 

Patting Zhangjing on the back, Yanjun suggests a nap. The other pouts, moving to put his hands on his hips. “But I want to tell you about my journey to the flower fields,” the Spring Deity inisists, even though he no longer understands his role as one. “There’s so much I want to tell you!”

 

“You can do that after you wake up, all right? I’ll be here, I’m not going anywhere,” Yanjun reaches to squeeze and hold the other’s hand in reassurance, a silent promise.

 

A promise that is more for himself than for the other.

 

“All right,” Zhangjing gives in slowly, “but I miss you, Yanjun- _gege_. I don’t want to sleep, because then I won’t get to see you.”

 

“I miss you too, Zhangjing,” Yanjun tells the other, because he does. Not only because that is how he currently feels, but because he had missed Zhangjing yesterday too. As well as every single day since the regretful day almost a year before. It pains him, but even though Yanjun tries not to think about it constantly, he still ends up doing and feeling so — and he needs Zhangjing to know.

 

Even if the other would not entirely understand the deeper meaning behind his words.

 

“Then don’t make me go to sleep,” Zhangjing holds the Rain Deity’s wrist and shakes it in playful pleading.

 

“You need to rest, or else you’ll perform badly at class again, no?” Yanjun tries. If the other’s health and recovery were not jeopardized, he would want never want Zhangjing to sleep and leave him, either.

 

“Uncle Nongnong says he’s busy this whole week so there are no classes!” The Spring Deity throws his hands up in innocent joy. The taller deity looks back at him, unable to resist smiling at his childish antics.

 

However, his small joy at Zhangjing’s action is quickly joined by a bitter reminder.

 

“Is anything the matter?” Despite his current state, Zhangjing still catches onto Yanjun’s subtle changes in mood better than anyone else can. It is a constant comfort to the Rain Deity, and a strong motivation for him to continue hoping for a cure. Soft fingers reach to find place on his cheeks, warm and gentle like their owner, and Yanjun leans into the other’s soothing gesture.

 

“Nothing’s the matter,” Yanjun lies, because the deities have all discussed and agreed that Zhangjing should not be burdened with the truth given his current state. A small consolation is that even though he cannot be entirely honest with Zhangjing, he can still tell the other half-truths. “I just miss you dearly. Very, very dearly.”

 

“So badly that it hurts you…?” Zhangjing frowns and his other hand moves to cup Yanjun’s other cheek as he moves closer. Despite it being clueless and innocent, the gesture is too intimate for Yanjun and he holds Zhangjing to stop him from getting any nearer.

 

“Am I hurting you?” Eyes filled with guilt, Zhangjing’s lips curve downward. “I’m sorry that I made you miss me, that it hurts you when you miss me...”

 

“No, no,” Yanjun ruffles the other’s hair. “It’s not your fault. It’s just how I am, that’s just how Rain Deities are.”

 

Zhangjing does not know any other Rain Deity, so he takes Yanjun’s word for it. “Is there anything I can do to make it better then? Can I kiss you to make it better? Like how you did for me?”

 

“Sure,” Yanjun answers breathlessly, because how can he deny himself everything?

 

Holding his breath as Zhangjing’s closes the distance between their faces to press his lips on the tips of Yanjun’s nose, the Rain Deity’s hands curl into fists so he will not instinctively grab the other to deepen the kiss.

 

“There,” Zhangjing announces with a hint of pride, “does it feel less painful now?”

 

“Yes.” _No, but yes._

 

The Spring Deity giggles at the satisfactory answer and wraps his arms around tightly Yanjun’s waist again. “Yanjun- _gege_ ,” Zhangjing closes his eyes and takes a deep breath.

 

Yanjun does not remember when he grew accustomed to Zhangjing referring to him as his older brother. Perhaps some time after the initial shock had settled in, after he had finally come to accept that even though Zhangjing looked entirely the same, he only had memories of himself as a very young deity.

 

That he had no memories of wielding his powers with expertise, nor much knowledge of the celestial world.

 

That he had no memories of himself being promoted to govern Spring.

 

That he had no memories of how he first met Yanjun.

 

Or being his lover.

 

“Yanjun- _gege_. You’re my favourite _gege_.”

 

“Isn’t that because I’m your only _gege_?” Yanjun raises an eyebrow at the other’s confession and reminds him: “I told you to refer to the others as uncles.”

 

Zhangjing’s body shakes softly against Yanjun’s as he giggles. “The others always tell me that you’re the oldest, Yanjun- _gege_. They say it’s unfair that they’re to be called uncles.” The Rain Deity scoffs but does not reply, choosing instead to pick Zhangjing up in his arms.

 

“Time for you to sleep,” he says. There is no argument this time as Zhangjing nods and leans his head against Yanjun’s shoulder.

 

At times like these, Yanjun wonders if he would prefer if Zhangjing’s physical form mirrored his mental age instead. If it were so, at least he would be able to treat the Spring Deity as a child entirely.

 

If it were so, he would not have to struggle to keep himself afloat in the false reality that stemmed from Zhangjing’s physical and mental disparity.

 

Walking towards their bed, Yanjun lays Zhangjing down on it before arranging the blanket over him. When he moves away, Zhangjing whines and his fingers find place on the other’s sleeve. “You’re not sleeping?”

 

“No,” Yanjun sits next to Zhangjing, on the edge of the bed. “It’s the morning, after all. I won’t be able to sleep tonight if I sleep now.”

 

“But you look tired,” the Spring Deity insists. “I can sing you a lullaby tonight to help you sleep.”

 

Smiling at the offer, Yanjun compromises by saying he will take a short nap. When he is settled under the blanket next to Zhangjing, the other smiles in satisfaction and soon surrenders to slumber.

 

Yanjun does not nap, however, choosing instead to just watch Zhangjing. The other’s earlier grip on his sleeve had loosen to find place on his arm. Ever since they became lovers, the Spring Deity had been one to be rather clingy. With his memories reduced to his childhood years, Zhangjing become even more so.

 

At least, the Rain Deity thinks, he would only be clingy when it came to Yanjun. It is a small comfort among the other troubles that constantly echoed in Yanjun’s mind, but still a comfort nonetheless.

 

As his eyes travel towards his table, Yanjun takes note of the few paper cranes and his lips press into a thin line. For the past year, he had been trying desperately to restore Zhangjing’s memories and actual mental age, but to no avail.

 

The deities had concluded that Zhangjing’s memories had been sealed off along with everything he had come to learn and know, yet no one had been able to find any sign or sort of seal on the Spring Deity. It never stopped the Yanjun from continuing his search for a solution.

 

During a recent gathering, Zhengting had mentioned that humans would fold a thousand paper cranes in exchange for a wish. Even though there is no one to grant the wish of deities, Yanjun had begun folding them anyway — because Zhangjing had been elated when Yanjun gave him one. The idea of a thousand paper cranes delighted the Spring Deity too, so Yanjun has nothing to lose and much to gain.

 

If he could never regain Zhangjing’s memories, at least he could put in his best efforts to make Zhangjing happy for the rest of their days together.

 

A mumble from Zhangjing breaks his thoughts and Yanjun moves closer to listen.

 

“Yanjun- _gege_ ,” the other’s voice is soft and laced with sleep, but still manages to sound bright in Yanjun’s ears. “I really, really, like you.”

 

Thankful that no one is around to see the sudden tears in his eyes, Yanjun presses a kiss to Zhangjing’s forehead.

 

“I really, really, love you too, Zhangjing.”


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you, dearest [sunspritecyj](https://archiveofourown.org/users/sunspritecyj) for beta-ing this ♡

A pair of paper cranes are placed gently into a huge lacquered box next to Yanjun’s table. Both are yellow, but one is adorned with red accents while the other is decorated with gold flower patterns.

 

Covering the box carefully, the Rain Deity stretches and looks out the balcony towards the setting sun. Painted in hues of orange and pinks, the current palette of the evening sky is one of Zhangjing’s favourite. Yanjun looks down at the person who is deep in slumber, his head rested on Yanjun’s thigh.

 

Ever since the fateful day that resulted in the sealing of his memories, Zhangjing had also weakened physically. He would tire out quicker than before, resulting in the need to take naps at least once per day. Thankfully, his immortality had not been affected in the least.

 

“Zhangjing?” Yanjun brushes his fingers across the other’s cheeks that are rosy and full of life — a sight the Rain Deity is very appreciative of.

 

The other stirs: scrunching his nose, frowning, then pushing Yanjun’s fingers away. Yanjun takes the chance to lace his fingers between Zhangjing’s and a smile tugs at the Spring Deity’s lips. It grows wider when Zhangjing opens his eyes to look up at Yanjun. The two stay like that for a long while, gazing into each other’s eyes as if a silent conversation is being exchanged.

 

“The sunset today is beautiful. Would you like to take a look?”

 

Upon Yanjun’s words, Zhangjing’s eyes sparkle with enthusiasm and he sits up immediately, turning to look out towards the sky. Gorgeous sceneries are often dulled when the person of one’s affections is present — Yanjun knows it best. As Zhangjing marvels aloud at the hues in the sky, the Rain Deity marvels silently at the one next to him instead.

 

He gazes at the Spring Deity in adoration, coming to understand more with each day why Zhangjing had been given his role. His celestial powers aside, Zhangjing is the epitome of spring: fresh, vibrant, and constantly growing.

 

The embodiment of life, Yanjun thinks.

 

At least to him, if not to anyone else.

 

Hence, when he found Zhangjing that fateful day almost a year ago: motionless, pale and barely breathing — the Rain Deity had felt as if his own soul was being ripped apart.

 

As a Spring Deity, Zhangjing never had complications carrying out his role to usher in his season; nor was he so weak as to need an entourage as he went about his duties in the mortal realm. Elemental deities hunted fiends, so the creatures knew to avoid an area if they sensed a deity’s aura within.

 

Occasionally, some would still run rampant and attack nonetheless, but Zhangjing was skilled and capable of defending himself. He had encountered a few before and had never returned with anything more than a small scratch.

 

There were certain fiends that were bloodthirsty and had no reservations in attacking mortals or deities alike, but most of them were sealed or roamed in lesser populated areas. At least, that was what the deities knew,  until Zhangjing almost lost his life to one.

 

Yanjun remembers the day too well: one that started out with him waking up next to and later having breakfast with the Spring Deity, until they headed out to fulfill their respective duties.  It was similar to most of their days, with the only difference of the ominous breaking of his jade pendant.

 

Gifted to him by Zhangjing, it belonged in a pair — the other carried by the Spring Deity himself. Both pendants were infused with their powers, allowing them to sense each other’s whereabouts even if they were in different realms.

 

Feeling highly uneasy, Yanjun had set of to locate Zhangjing. Till today, he is thankful that he had done so, too afraid to imagine how things would have turned out otherwise.

 

Even though Yanjun's duties don't require him to hunt or participate in certain wars, the Rain Deity had still participated in a fair share of vicious and bloody battles. Yet, none of those prepared him for the sight that lay before him that day. Rushing to the flower fields that were charred and lifeless, the Rain Deity remembers the overwhelming fear that gripped him and weakened his knees at the sight of a familiar yet motionless body.

 

If it was not for his need to know if Zhangjing was still alive, Yanjun would have allowed his knees to give in then, to kneel upon the ashen ground that once boasted vibrant life, courtesy of Zhangjing. Now, it is in a similar condition to its carer: barely alive and ripped of its splendor.

 

Zhangjing’s robes were burnt and sliced, the warm saffron drenched in dull patches of blood. Yanjun remembers reaching urgently for Zhangjing, his hands shaking as he checked the other’s pulse, his breathing and wounds — and then to cradle him in his arms.

 

He remembers the hot tears of anger and anguish, how he had brought Zhangjing back immediately to have him treated. How he stayed awake for days waiting for the other to wake up, while travelling to the mortal realm looking for clues to his lover’s attacker.

 

Linong had joined him then, and they soon found a witness: a mortal maiden had seen Zhangjing. Upon being noticed, the Spring Deity had placed a finger on his lips and shushed her, but not without giving her a bouquet of flowers after — so she remembered him well.

 

She also remembered the beast that appeared soon after: a winged tiger engulfed in black flames.

 

The deities had since referred to it as the Infernal Tiger: born from the evil that dwelled within the world and strengthened by feeding off the anguish and misery of mortals.

 

After the attack on Zhangjing, many other deities had offered to track the creature down while Yanjun stayed by Zhangjing’s side. During those days, it rained frequently in the mortal realm — the Rain Deity’s vengeful wish of putting out the accursed Tiger’s flames.

 

Along with its life.

 

However, before anyone could find the fiend, Zhangjing had woken up first — much to Yanjun’s joy, and later, sorrow. Even though familiar bright eyes gazed at Yanjun, they were filled with questions.

 

“Where am I?” Zhangjing had asked. It was a simple question, a seemingly common one for a person who had been unconscious for some time to ask upon waking up. However, the next questions stirred unease and dread within Yanjun.

 

“What am I doing here?”

 

“Why does it hurt?”

 

“Who are you?”

 

Simple questions that could be easily answered — yet were extremely difficult for Yanjun to respond to then. It took awhile for the Rain Deity to come to terms with the fact that Zhangjing had lost his memories, but it took him even longer to accept that the Spring Deity did not even remember being a Spring Deity.

 

That he only remembered himself as a child, despite him being physically unlike one at all.

 

“Yanjun- _gege_ , what’s on your mind?”

 

Bright eyes are staring into his from a close distance, Zhangjing’s breath tickling his lips. He shifts back immediately, almost losing his balance. His surprised antics amuse Zhangjing and the other begins giggling, his eyes curved into crescents as he clutched his stomach.

 

“Did I scare you?” Zhangjing asks, his tone is that of a triumphant child who had successfully pulled a prank.

 

Yanjun furrows his brows and refuses to answer.

 

“ _Gege_ , are you angry? Don’t be! I didn’t mean to scare you! I was talking but you didn’t reply me at all, so I was curious as to what you were thinking about.”

 

“Are you asking if I’m angry because you know I’ll never be angry at you?” Yanjun asks, slightly miffed.

 

When Zhangjing laughs with a knowing glint in his eyes, Yanjun almost thinks that it is **his** Zhangjing. His lover, his best friend, the person who knows him inside-out without him needing to express himself in detail.

 

Still, he knows it isn’t.

 

Seeing the shift in Yanjun’s mood, Zhangjing throws himself into the Rain Deity’s arms, wrapping the other in an embrace. His face is pressed in the crook of Yanjun’s slender neck, his soft hair reminding the other of distant nights. “Yanjun- _gege_ , you always look a little sad. Even when you’re happy, even when you’re not doing anything, even when you’re angry…”

 

The Rain Deity feels the other’s embrace tighten, much like the grip of anticipation around his heart.

 

“Do I make you sad?”

 

Yanjun bites on his lips and holds back a breath and tears. The truth is that, he did not have an answer. Obviously, the better choice would be to say no — but even though lying to the child that is Zhangjing isn’t easy, lying to himself is much harder.

 

He allows the silence between them to grow, until he hears Zhangjing sniffling. Breaking the embrace, his hands immediately cup the other’s cheeks, his heart aching when he sees tears welling in the Spring Deity’s bright eyes.

 

“You asked if I’m sad, but why are you the one crying instead?”

 

“I don’t know,” Zhangjing shakes his head. The setting rays of the sun dance upon his hair, highlighting it in shades of ocher amidst a deep brown. “I feel sad when I see you feeling sad, it comes here,” the Spring Deity points to his chest, where his heart is. “It hurts when I’m sad, and I’m not sure why… am I weird?”

 

To Yanjun, being with Zhangjing in his current state meant that he had to always be reminded: that Zhangjing is Zhangjing, but not.

 

That they are lovers, but not.

 

That Zhangjing is a child, but not.

 

That no matter how much he wants to express himself, he has to always think twice — and react in a way that would be fair to both **his** Zhangjing, Zhangjing who now only knows himself as a child, and himself.

 

“I don’t know that is considered weird,” Yanjun finally answers, “but if you are, it doesn’t matter. I still like you just the same.”

 

The other smiles brightly at the satisfactory answer and leans towards Yanjun, as if he is going to press a kiss on Yanjun’s cheek. The Rain Deity is caught off guard, because even though Zhangjing had been clingy since he regained his consciousness — he had never been so bold as to kiss Yanjun’s cheeks without the other’s permission.

 

Yanjun assumes that Zhangjing is merely being so because being with Yanjun gave him a sense of consistency in the unfamiliar situation. That his presence granted Zhangjing some form of comfort and security.

 

However, Zhangjing’s lips never meet Yanjun’s cheeks.

 

The other pulls back, slight confusion in his eyes. As if he, too, is caught off guard by his own actions. Still, there is surprise in Yanjun’s eyes and he thinks that his cheeks must be very flushed for the Spring Deity to look at him with an amused glint in his eyes, bursting into a fit of soft giggles again until a growl is heard from his stomach.

 

Immediately asking if it is time for dinner, Zhangjing stands up and attempts to pull Yanjun with him. Even though his memories and actual age have been sealed, Zhangjing’s physical strength remained — and he had never been weak to begin with. The Rain Deity is soon brought to his feet and out the door, towards the dining quarters.

 

The residence’s attendants had already prepared food, much to Zhangjing’s delight. Urging Yanjun to take a seat, they have barely began their meal before a familiar voice is heard.

 

“Is the Rain Deity present?”

 

Looking towards their visitor, Zhangjing’s grins and waves. “Ziyi- _gege_!”

 

Then, feeling an air of displeasure from the person seated opposite him, Zhangjing quickly corrects himself. “Uncle Ziyi!”

 

Ziyi waves back and apologizes for interrupting their meal, but mentions that he has important news for Yanjun. From the look in Ziyi’s eyes, the Rain Deity has an inkling on what the Thunder Deity has to convey.

 

“Finish your dinner, I’ll be back in a bit,” Yanjun says as he walks past Zhangjing, ruffling the other’s hair as he passed by to get to Ziyi, motioning for the other to follow him out. Along the way, Ziyi asks if Zhangjing’s health has improved, to which Yanjun answers positively and thankfully.

 

When they are under the garden’s gazebo, Ziyi’s expression turns slightly more sombre than before. “We’ve received news of the Infernal Tiger’s whereabouts.”

 

Yanjun’s eyes narrow at the expected news, feeling his blood begin to boil. “Where?”

 

“At the southern coast of the Dark Sea. But Yanjun, I must tell you this as well. Those who encountered the fiend confirmed our suspicions: it has grown larger and stronger.”

 

“Are you saying that in hopes that I will choose to not hunt it down?”

 

Ziyi is composed as ever when he denies it. “I don’t believe in forcing others into making a certain decision, I’m just fulfilling a promise.”

 

“...a promise?”

 

“Zhangjing told me a few weeks back that he would be devastated if you were to leave him,” Ziyi pauses when Yanjun’s fierce gaze briefly shifts to a fragile one, “he made me promise to make sure you would never leave him alone.”

 

The Rain Deity averts his gaze, pretending to study the twilight sky and the soft stars that have appeared. “Of course I won’t leave him alone,” Yanjun says, more for himself than for Ziyi to hear.

 

“I’m just letting you know there are many of us who are willing to put an end to the Infernal Tiger. These creatures are usually left to the Hunters anyway, but we’re informing you as per your request. We understand your need to be involved in its defeat, but don’t forget the risk — especially now that it is more powerful from feeding off the mortals' evil and grief.”

 

His bloodthirst slightly quelled by Ziyi’s words, Yanjun weighs the consequences of his choices silently. “As much as I’d like to wait, I need an answer now. The Hunters want to engage it before they lose track, if you choose to go, you are to depart as soon as possible with them.”

 

A part of Yanjun craves for vengeance while the other merely wants to cherish his time with Zhangjing, to be with the other as he seeked ways to restore his memories. The pull of both parts are strong and Ziyi watches as the Rain Deity stands there in a daze. “A reminder that Linong is in the mortal realm for his duties, so if you are to leave...”

 

The Thunder Deity does not have to finish his sentence for Yanjun to understand his message. If he decides to leave, there is no one around to look after Zhangjing. Without knowing how long it would take to defeat the Infernal Tiger, or if he will even make it back in a condition fit to continue his role as Zhangjing’s guardian.

 

However, Yanjun’s rationality is tested upon the memory of Zhangjing’s battered body. He had been wanting to rip the Tiger apart ever since his lover suffered the fiend’s hostility. The possibility of Zhangjing memories returning upon its defeat further urges his need for vengeance.

 

“I’ll leave in ten minutes,” Ziyi says, giving Yanjun more time than he should. “Do you think you can come to a decision by then?”

 

It is a rhetorical question, so Yanjun nods as Ziyi excuses himself and heads towards the dining quarters. The Rain Deity looks through the window to see Zhangjing greeting Ziyi again, the two falling into an animated conversation, although it is mostly the Spring Deity who is animated. Ziyi merely replies with polite smiles and reponses.

 

Ziyi’s earlier words echo in his mind despite his best efforts in ignoring them.

 

_Zhangjing told me a few weeks back that he would be devastated if you were to leave him._

 

Yanjun knows without Ziyi having to tell him, because Zhangjing had told him too. Along with eyes filled with an innocent pleading, with a voice that is both soft and clingy — one that the Spring Deity used to coax him with. It now held even more power over him, with Zhangjing sincerely believing that he **is** a child.

 

_He made me promise to make sure you would never leave him alone._

 

This — Yanjun had not known. In fact, he feels slightly miffed that Zhangjing would make Ziyi promise him such a thing, after making him promise the same: to stay by his side. Did Zhangjing not believe he would uphold his end of the promise?

 

It seemed like a child’s request then, a wish made on a whim after Yanjun returned from a long day of urgent duties. Having being left alone in the residence, despite having told the Rain Deity that he would be fine, Zhangjing had forcefully curled up in Yanjun’s lap upon the other’s return.

 

Yanjun had given in then, patting the other’s back and apologizing for being away. Zhangjing had fumed then, asking him why he only returned after such long hours. “You said you’d be back before sunset!”

 

Yet before he received an answer, tears had begun rolling down Zhangjing’s fair cheeks. Sobbing into the collar of Yanjun’s deep blue robe, the Spring Deity had made him promise never to leave him alone again.

 

Of course, Yanjun still had duties, so the other deities had offered to keep Zhangjing company while the Rain Deity went about his routines. Sometimes, very rarely, Yanjun would even bring Zhangjing alone. Just like old times: except that before, they worked together to usher in spring showers; but now, Zhangjing would only watch Yanjun gather the rain clouds — his own powers sealed away.

 

Taking a deep breath, Yanjun allows the cool dusk air fill his lungs as he comes to a decision. Zhangjing and Ziyi’s bright laughter fill his ears as he steps into the residence, his heart tender and his mind made up.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Any guesses on whether Yanjun would go or stay? c:

**Author's Note:**

> Since this was originally a one-shot, I’d love to hear your thoughts if you enjoyed the first part so I know how many more chapters to plan for after c:
> 
> Am a sucker for wuxia/xianxia and am very happy to write this, if you’d like to talk more about xianxia stuff (or ZhangJun in general), slide into my DMs [@zhan9jun](https://twitter.com/zhan9jun)!


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